Have you ever gotten to the point that you just want to throw everything in the fuck it bucket and walk away, from work, life and everything in between?
Homeschooling, running two businesses and a husband who works away has had me frazzled and I’m not afraid to admit it! I knew that I wasn’t alone when I asked the question “As female entrepreneurs, what do you think your biggest pain points are” in my facebook group this week and the poll came back with work/life balance having double the amount of votes of the second, most popular, option.
So, I went to my coach this week (yup even us coaches see the benefit of working with a coach) with the problem of sorting my work/life balance out. As is always the way with pure coaching, I was asked questions around my thoughts and feelings of my current situation and came to the conclusion of how I can get this balance for myself and my family and what steps I could take to find this peace and happiness that I am craving.
How was I feeling?
Pure overwhelm if I’m honest. Not only are we dealing with homeschooling (something that I am majorly failing at) I’m trying to run my businesses, keep my podcast going and am on a course to gain my PCC accreditation with the International Coaching Federation. We hear so much that networking is key to building a business so was spending a good 1-2 hours on my phone first thing in the morning trying to find those ideal clients. Then would lose my shit because the house would be a mess from the kids making their own breakfast, the day then followed in that sequence… me trying to get work done then having to clean up after the kids who’d be running feral.
What can I control?
A really powerful question that I ask myself and my clients is “what can you control” this works in any situation where you are feeling overwhelmed but is something that I hadn’t considered here. I cannot control that the children are home, that my husband works away, or that somedays the kids just really do want to spend the day trying to kill each other. But I could control where I directed my attention, What I chose to prioritise and how I react to situations.
I started by turning off all notifications on my phone. I think this is my biggest distraction and time waster during the day. As soon as I settle to complete a task my phone, watch, iPad and mac buzz all with the same notification so that no matter where I am or what I’m doing my attention is diverted. Then FOMO kicks in and I get drawn into the inevitable scroll hole of whatever app the notification has come from. Turning off the notifications means that I now only give my phone the attention I want to give it and a time that it is convinient to me.
Set a routine
I like to think of myself as a highly organised person but everything seems to have gone wrong in this latest lockdown. So I’ve set myself a daily schedule/routine where I can find this magical work/life balance. I will be sticking to it regradless of my husband being home or working away and have changed my appointments to reflect this;
I’m holding myself accountable as I can see the difference that this structure has made to our home life already this week. I’ve explained to the kids that I need them to be focused in their time and the behaviour I need from them whilst I am working. This will be rewarded with a high value activity like baking or helping me to cook dinner.
I also opened up a conversation where I explained that they need to be cleaning up after themselves (and exactly what “clearing up” means to me) and that if this is not done then it will result in the consequence of me having to do this in time that was allocated as family time.
How do I feel now?
I honestly feel as if a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. My kids know what to expect from me and what I expect from them so I’m not getting to the point of a meltdown before anyone gets anything done. They know that they have set time each day for their 1:1 time and that mummy won’t be distracted by the blasted pinging of her phone!
Having set times to work means that I have a 4 hour slot each day to really concentrate and get things done. The children won’t be screaming for my attention and I can use the morning to set them up with activities to do during my working time to keep them from getting bored.
I feel now that I have the work life balance that I so desperately needed and in a period where we are all time poor this is more valuable to me than ever.
My questions to you:
Don’t forget to come over to the FACEBOOK GROUP where I ask daily questions to get you thinking about your business in a way which will help you to grow.
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